How to Write a Dating Profile - What to include in your bio and how to write it
Dating apps are more common than ever in the COVID-19 era. Going out and meeting someone special through friends doesn't happen the way it used to. Writing the best possible dating profile can take some trial and error. But with some practice, you can write something just right to help you meet a special someone.
When writing your dating profile, you need to follow a few simple rules: 1. Be authentic 2. Talk about yourself and be honest 3. Be specific about whom you're looking for 4. Give the other person something to talk to you about 5. Update and experiment with your profile.
Whether you're writing your first online dating profile or your 50th, persistence is key! Use these simple guidelines to take the guesswork out of your profile and get on those dates.
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Why is my dating bio so important?
When you're swiping, giving flames, or fishing, shouldn't you be the one judging other people's profiles carefully?
Well, of course, you are. You've got to play offense to score. But without a good defense, you'll attract the wrong types of people or repel the ones you want.
Cultivating a thoughtful profile will help keep your matching rates high and your conversations interesting.
One of the worst parts of online dating is finding things to talk about until the meet up. If you create a profile with conversations in mind, you'll make carrying the conversation easier. Thus, your likelihood of meeting up will increase.
Why should I try online dating?
Online dating has become the new normal. There are many reasons for this, but the short explanation is that it makes finding and going on dates easier.
No guesswork on whether they're hunting
You get to showcase your best aspects 24/7
It makes the dating pool wider because you'll encounter people from outside your geographic area
You can reject people without upsetting them usually; people don't know whether you've swiped on them
Improve your odds of finding a match because of the sheer availability
No pressure to "perform" the right way in your first conversation - you have time to prepare and think about your responses
There are loads of reasons you should try online dating, even if it sounds outside your comfort zone. It could be a fun social experiment to learn more about yourself and what type of person you're looking for.
What is your goal for online dating?
You must be honest and spend time thinking about whom you want to meet online in the first place. Dating apps are commonly used to find friends, casual hookups, and discover life partners.
Which one are you looking for?
Being honest with yourself will help you write the correct type of profile to attract the right person. It will also help you save time when you're fishing through responses and matches.
Also, consider what type of person you want to attract.
A funny, jokester type? Include some jokes in your profile, maybe even a pun or two.
A whimsical vegan, who does yoga in the forest? Focus your bio on your healthy habits and plant-based diet.
A nerdy person who would rather rewatch Lord of the Rings than go out to a club? Include the book in one of your pictures.
See what I mean?
If you're interested in spending your time with a particular type of person, then ask for it!
The law of attraction applies to every aspect of life, including your dating profile.
Play it safe
People are usually on dating apps to meet up in real life.
Generally, people only want the messaging stage to last a few days to a week.
Then, you've got to start making plans.
If you feel unsafe meeting up with someone IRL for the first time, play it smart.
You can:
Have a video date first
Especially in the COVID-19 era, meeting up with a stranger may sound like a pretty high-risk activity. Start with a video date or two to get a feel for the person and see if you have chemistry. Then, if you feel more comfortable, you can meet up on a date
Talk about your expectations
They have no idea what you're looking for. Are you there for new friends? For a hookup? For a relationship? If you hide your hopes but secretly keep them, you're likely to get hurt pretty quickly. Alternatively, you're wasting someone else's time if you're dishonest.
Ask for more social proof of their identity
Catfish is a top-rated TV show for a reason. Tons of people meet each other online only to find out one person isn't who they claim to be. Don't end up on Catfish. Ask for further social media proof such as Facebook or Instagram.
Online dating doesn't have to be nerve-racking.
Just be smart about it.
How to write a dating profile bio
You're given a few hundred words at best, so how can you catch someone's attention in such a tiny space?
At the same time, those few hundred characters may feel like an impossible feat to you.
Less is more when it comes to dating profiles. It's easy to skim what people have written or not read it at all, preferring to base your choices on pictures alone.
Keep your end goal in mind
Are you looking for a long-term partner?
How do you envision them to be?
What hobbies do you want to have in common?
What kind of personality would be ideal?
If you are fishing, you have to use the correct bait to get the right type of fish, don't you?
Your dating profile isn't any different.
Spend time actually thinking about who you want to meet and then backwards design your profile. Make it something you know your ideal person would swipe right on.
You don't want to appeal to everyone, only one or a few types of people. So curate your profile to reflect this.
Start with a good username
Some dating sites allow you to create and choose a username for your profile. So when choosing a username, think of it as an opportunity to reel in the right person for you.
Choose something easy, clean and memorable.
Of course, using your own name is an option. Still, it may be a wasted opportunity to show a bit more of your personality.
Again, think about what is important to you and who you’re trying to attract. Find some overlap and choose something in the middle.
Use a headline
Think about how you use dating apps. If that first sentence doesn't catch your eye, then you're moving on. By opening up and sharing a few things about yourself, you'll be able to attract the right type of person.
With such a short space, narrow down what you are looking for or need to share.
One successful headline works for blogs and dating profiles alike. It goes a little like this:
You + Who you're looking for = perfect headline
For example:
Optimistic woman searching for a down to earth realist
Self-employed entrepreneur seeks driven morning person to go on jogs with
Funny stoner guy seeking someone who is an excellent cook to settle down with
It's easy, concise, and will lure in suitable people.
Do you want your ideal partner to go on hikes with you and your dog?
Say as much and choose a picture to match.
Keep your bio short and sweet
It isn't meant to be an entire Wikipedia page about yourself. After all, would you read a novel about each person you swipe right on? You're not trying to tell your life story. You're trying to make yourself attractive to the right person.
When you're writing your bio, try and follow the 70/30 rule. Talk about yourself 70% of the time, then spend the other 30% talking about your ideal partner. Doing this eliminates the guesswork for you and them.
Top things you can include:
Powerful personality adjectives
Asking 3-5 of your friends to describe you in a few words, then use these words on your profile
Pointed Quotes
Use a quote that resonates with you. Opt for something less popular related to a crucial aspect of your life. For example, if you love Dr. Who, choose one from your favorite doctor.
Be authentic and pointed
If you know what type of person you're after, then create a honeypot for them. Do you think the love of your life is a tree hugger? Talk about your garden and your love of trees. Are you after a gamer? Mention what type of console you use and your favorite types of games.
Don’t settle for less
Disclose things that are nonnegotiable for you. If you're a feminist, you likely don't hide it in real life, so don't hide that aspect of yourself from your dating profile. It's about quality, not quantity.
Be interesting and humble
Don't try and be too "chill" - saying you're "just an average dude" isn't going to get anyone excited. You can stay humble while still being interesting.
It’s always a working draft
Start with something and then refine over time - it's a work in progress, so don't stress out! Just have fun with it, then make edits as you go along. This also means don't leave your bio blank.
Create momentum before the first message
Messaging with a total stranger doesn't have to be awkward. Create an easy-in for a person to message you with. Some great suggestions are:
Share a controversial opinion about something simple
"Hash browns are overrated."
"--- is the best PlayStation game."
"I've never done (super popular thing) because (reason here)."
"Charcoal is better than gas BBQs."
Leave a question at the end of your profile.
Would you rather have lobster claws for hands or a dolphin fin for feet?
What is next in your Netflix queue?
What's the best advice you've ever received?
Message me if… statements
Message me if you think that lunch is the best meal of the day
Message me if you need someone to see (new release) with
Message me if you have an idea for a road trip for us
Provide an easy way for the other person to start or continue the conversation. Taking the time to do this will help the likelihood of getting to the meet-up
The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
Spend your time wisely and think about who you are and who you're looking for.
Dishonesty with yourself or others will only take you down a disappointing track.
Getting help with your dating profile
You can read countless blogs on "how to write a dating profile" and still feel like you've learned nothing.
Ask your friends or loved ones for help! You can ask them to describe you, provide feedback, or test out different bios they all write for you!
The truth of who you are is likely somewhere between the lines, but only time will tell.
Dating coaching
If you're tired of being single and want to attract the right person, try relationship and dating coaching. There are countless unhelpful, outdated resources available. You may get bogged down in the details rather than keeping your eye on the prize.
Get personalized, step-by-step help to attract the love of your life to you.
If you're ready to start working with a dating and relationship coach, get in contact with me today.
“The truth is that falling hurts. The dare is to keep being brave and feel your way back up.”
-Brené Brown
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